Indian Marriage Part 2

My housekeeper's daughter got engaged thursday. After learning the details of the arrangement I thought I'd post about dowries, an ancient practice in many countries. Vanajakshi will be paying a dowry to her daughter's husband and his family. This practice is supposedly illegal in India (since 1961) but still very common. The dowry owed by Vanajakshi is very expensive and probably close to a year's worth of salary for her. (She has a husband that also works but it's still a large sum like most dowries are--to learn more about this practice in a short article click here) Brian said most families have to take out a loan to pay for the dowry/wedding. His co-worker and sister both took out loans to cover the expenses of the sister’s wedding. He said that this money is also used to pay for the wedding expenses not just to “pay off” the husband’s family.

I decided to read up on dowries. Well you know with 3 kids I don’t have much time to read so b/w Wikipedia and another article I found online I learned more than I wanted to know. Dowries are illegal in India only if it is forced by the husband’s family. (In my opinion, this is such an ancient practice that both sides consent simply because it’s expected and it’s tradition. I’m sure the sums demanded can get out of hand and abusive, hence the law). Then I learned that there is something called “dowry death” or “bride burning” where the husband and/or in-laws burn their brides to death b/c of insufficient dowry payment!!! Crazy—and it still happens today. And I have a German friend here who is married to an Indian. Their daughter (age 5) is very light skinned. She told me that light skinned Indian women have it made b/c they don’t usually have to worry about paying a dowry. Light skinned woman are seen as more beautiful and are sought out as marriage partners.
It's all very interesting to me.