Monday, June 7, 2010


I read a quote a few months ago from a book about India that made tears well up in my eyes when I read it because it is so true for my time here.

"Sometimes you have to surrender before you win. Surrender is at the heart of the Indian experience. I gave in."

I don't believe this statement only applies to India, rather any person who lives in a foreign country. But since I've only traveled to other countries, and lived in India it counts as my Indian experience.

In the beginning, there are so many things I wanted to change and fix and know the reasons for why it's like it is and tell someone (sometimes shout at someone) why and how this could work better. There are scores of things I compared to the U.S. So many things that I thought "my way" was better. But eventually, after many wrinkles, nail biting, and angry flare ups you realize you just have to submit and surrender to have peace or that peace will never come.

Here are some of the things I surrendered to:

Traffic: I've finally stopped moaning, complaining, clawing the steering wheel and honking for long, annoying periods of time to make my point:) I do still have my moments and I do have thoughts of why does it have to be like this but I've learned to relax my face so as not to add to the wrinkles I've gained in the last 3 years from driving around Bangalore:)

Pollution and Trash

Poverty all around: Although I don't think it's good to ever "get used" to poverty and not try to do something to help, it does eventually just become part of your surrounding.

Indian working hours (i.e. Brian's long work hours/week:)

Strangers pinching my childrens' cheeks: I still don't like it but I'm not boiling inside anymore:)

Long, unashamed starring at our family wherever we go

How much I've aged since moving here:)

Lack of infrastructure and the slow process of finishing it (although I've been told the overpasses being built for over a year and the mall that has taken over 3 years near us are going at a fast rate for India:)

Sitting for 20 minutes @ The U-Turn that I've blogged about several times: And don't ya know, now that we are leaving they have cut an opening in the median to make the u-turn more efficient:D You still have to wait, but not as long, to turn around and head in the right direction:)

One thing (and there's certainly more) I haven't yet surrendered too but hoping I can in the next 2 weeks is People Cutting in Line! Oh, it still bugs so bad!! I need order, I need line rules, and 3 people cutting in front of me at the grocery store is like rubbing lemon juice into a sore for me:) I've got to surrender to!!

I'm not trying to belittle or demean India by listing the above things. Like I said, I think this is true of every foreigner's experience no matter what country. There's a whole process that takes place in a new culture. That's why it's called culture shock:) And for all the pain of that process, it leaves so much good.


Three Flags Family Blogger said...

You know.... I can only say that I admire you for this!!! Wow... and you have certainly had immense grace that has allowed you to sureender and to learn so much! I would love to talk to you more about this when you come back!!! I'll e-mail you with my number at some point.
I can't believe it's been 3 years!
Much love,

Anonymous said...

Whaever happened to the Frazeir Family. Were they able to leave India? Left us hanging